nucmednet Chapter 18: Unable to live, in unbearable pain, ultimately buried with Xie Yu'an.
Chapter 18: Unable to live, in unbearable pain, ultimately buried with Xie Yu'an.
Xie Yu'an immediately pulled An Cinian to his side, made her sit on the sofa, and reached out to roll up An Cinian's trouser legs.
"I'm fine, I, I didn't get burned." An Cinian looked at Lin Shu and An Wenxin opposite her, feeling very embarrassed, and couldn't help but shrink her feet.
"If there's nothing else, then leave. Lin Yan, see Secretary An out." Lin Shu didn't look at An Cinian, but sat on the sofa, her tone indifferent.
An Cinian seized the opportunity to get up quickly, bowed, and left with Lin Yan; she didn't want to stay there any longer.
Xie Yu'an wanted to say something more, but An Wenxin had already grabbed Xie Yu'an's hand, refusing to let Xie Yu'an go: "Yu'an, Auntie is still here."
An Cinian walked very fast, and Lin Yan almost couldn't keep up: "Xiaonian, Auntie is just nagging, don't take it to heart, she likes you very much."
"Let him nag me for being so heartless, disappear without a trace."
In the past, An Cinian could have guaranteed that Aunt Lin Shu liked her very much. But things are different now. Aunt Lin Shu hates her just like Xie Yu'an, hating her for being so resolute and heartless.
"Xiao Nian, you..."
"Can I not ask?"
Lin Yan saw that An Cinian's eyes were wet, lowered his head, and nodded: "I won't ask. We all know you must have your reasons, but Cinian, if you don't tell us, we can't find a way to help you. Xiao Yu won't let you leave. He will always misunderstand you and hate you. Don't you really care?"
Yes, she cares. Just like when Xie Yu'an asked her if there was anyone she would be willing to give her life for, the answer is definitely yes. Whether in her past life or this life, there is only one person who would be worth giving her life for: Xie Yu'an.
"You don't need to see me off, I can go by myself."
The Xie family now consists of only the mother and son.
"She's back, and you didn't tell me."
Seeing that Xie Yu'an still didn't speak, Lin Shu got angry. She stood up again from the sofa, wishing she could pick up a cup and smash it at Xie Yu'an. "You're still having contact with her? Son, have you forgotten? You got into a car accident because of her, and what happened? That woman didn't come to see you, she even ran away! What are you doing back now?"
The thought that her son clearly liked An Cinian so much, but An Cinian didn't care about her son's feelings at all, and the thought of Xie Yu'an who was half-dead, made her heart ache.
She liked An Cinian, but so what? Xie Yu'an was her own son. She had carried him for ten months and worked so hard to give birth to him. How could he, as his mother, not be angry when his child was treated like this?
Thinking about all these years, Xie Yu'an didn't know what to say.
"Mom~"
"Isn't that right? Six years have passed since you left, six years! You disappeared without a trace. Did An Cinian even care about your feelings?" Lin Shu walked up to Xie Yu'an and took his hand. "Son, let's stop loving each other, okay? You're so outstanding now, so many girls like you. You'll definitely find a girl who's all for you. Let's not have her anymore, okay?" Lin Shu was almost crying as she spoke. This was her son.
She and Xie Jiaye had cherished and loved each other since childhood.
Throughout the journey, An Cinian was in a daze, coughing incessantly, her mind a jumble of thoughts, unable to distinguish between reality and dreams.
Because of Xie Yu'an's impulsive hug at the orphanage, they didn't speak to each other for more than half a month. She had promised Lu Ye that as long as she could see Xie Yu'an and know that he was safe and happy, that would be enough.
Thinking of this, An Cinian couldn't control her emotions. Her heart stopped for a moment. Because of the violent coughing, she was forced to turn her upright body to the right, bend over, and hold her chest. It was so painful.
Her face wasn't flushed, but rather pale and lifeless; she was a dying woman.
She was stubborn and knew that doing so would have serious consequences, but she was unwilling to give up. People are just like that; they are greedy for things that don't belong to them.
But she didn't want to die. Xie Yu'an hadn't graduated yet, and she hadn't found happiness with him. Couldn't she be a little selfish and let her see him happy? God, I beg you, I don't want to die yet!
Leaning against a large tree, he coughed repeatedly.
"Are you alright?" He reached out to help her up. "An Cinian, my name is Xie Yu'an, also known as A Yu."
An Cinian opened her eyes wide and gasped. Why was Xie Yu'an here? How could she have been recognized? Was it because of that song? But everyone had heard that song.
1496 days, Xie Yu'an, you should forget about it.
Xie Yu'an took her hand and sat down on the small stool next to her, his beautiful phoenix eyes filled with melancholy: "Why don't we go to the hospital to get checked out? I'm very worried about you."
These words sounded so familiar; it was the same gentle Xie Yu'an who once held her hand and said, "Xiao Yu, you're hurt. Let's go to the hospital. I'm so worried about you."
An Cinian lowered her head, tears welling up in her eyes. Images of them together flashed through her mind, like a long movie with only the two of them.
"Are you feeling unwell? Let me see." He said, reaching out to touch An Cinian.
To prevent Xie Yu'an from noticing her tears, she hugged Xie Yu'an's neck tightly, resting her head on Xie Yu'an's right side. Tears streamed down her face from the sudden movement, one after another, like glistening pearls. Some fell onto Xie Yu'an's back, while others were caught by An Cinian's hands.
Everyone says she has good emotional control, but she can never control her emotions in front of Xie Yu'an. Xie Yu'an, you are my happiness and my tears.
Xie Yu'an placed his hands on An Cinian's waist. This was the first time they had been intimate since he grew up. He felt that he could smell something, a faint and pleasant floral fragrance.
An Cinian opened her eyes. She must have been bewitched. She released Xie Yu'an's neck and said, "I'm sorry, I was feeling really bad just now."
"So your name is An Cinian. I've finally found you. I'm so happy..." Xie Yu'an couldn't hide her excitement. The feeling of finding something she had lost was wonderful.
An Cinian, An Cinian that belongs to him.
"You got the wrong person."
An Cinian was still in great pain; her memory and steps were stumbling, and she bumped into several people. Finally, unable to bear it any longer, An Cinian found a corner of a convenience store and squatted down.
Those memories are terrifying, yet they become memorable because of Xie Yu'an's existence.
Recalling their last meeting when she was 12, she wondered what Xie Yu'an was thinking at the time. He actually wanted to appear by getting injured!
What should she do if something happens to Xie Yu'an?
She would suffer a fate worse than death, living in constant pain and despair, unable to live, in unbearable agony, and in the end, she would have to be buried with Xie Yu'an.
Xie Yu'an, I'm sick, with an incurable illness. Originally, I thought I could be your friend and just watch you be happy. But fate won't grant my wish. My life isn't in my own hands. I don't know when I'll die, maybe today, maybe tomorrow morning.
I am a selfish person. I love you so much that I want to give you a camellia. I am willing to become a decapitated flower.
If only we hadn't separated back then, if only I hadn't left. That way, the car accident wouldn't have happened, and even if it had, I could have protected you.
I've lived two lives, but both of your car accidents were caused by me, so I have no choice but to leave you.
Xie Yu'an, you're right. I, An Cinian, am indeed a cowardly and selfish person.
It's not that I don't love you; you're the only person I love most in this world. But I have too many things to consider, and I can't do many things because of my own circumstances.
"Ce Nian?"